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Friday, October
22, 2004 at 09:04:45 (EDT) |
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Vote for me and I'll set you free
Anybody else check out
Electoral Vote Predictor obsessively? I know I shouldn't
pay so much attention to something that is basically a glorified
fortune cookie, but when you see the election laid out like
it already happened it commands some attention. Today, however,
it's displaying predicted results that could probably work
on any day leading up to the election: a tie. I am pleased
to see my hometown Ohio leaning towards Kerry now, but I know
that can and probably will change in the next day or so. A
candidate needs 270 electoral votes to become President, so
neither guy is making the grade at all.
So whatever happened to all the talk about changing up the
political system after the last election? Are ballots clearer
and safer than last time around? Has anybody been working
on finding out if the electoral college is even worth it anymore?
I feel a little bad about not keeping up with that stuff,
but isn't that the big problem with Americans? We get mad
about stuff for a while, but ultimately we just want somebody
else to take care of things and tell us everything is gonna
be all right.
Speaking of which, I sure hope my boss tells me I don't have
to come into the office next week.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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Thursday,
October 21, 2004 at 13:34:20 (EDT) |
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I cannot stand the way you tease
 The
blogger
reading was again no disappointment in the quality department.
This time around everybody's stories were uniformly excellent,
and everybody read like they were all pros. I guess some of
them are. Todd
Levin does a lot of stand-up, as well as hosting his own
reading series, the oft-hilarious How
to Kick People (there's a performance next Wednesday).
His story was about an ex-girlfriend who fully met all the necessary
criteria to be considered truly a 'psycho.' Damn that shit was
funny.
 Child
prodigy Ned
Vizzini appears to be moving into Spalding Gray territory,
as his was less story and more monologue performance. Ostensibly
about his boss (who seemed less psychotic and more weary of
the high school students he had to hire to bag dirt), his
tale jumped around to involve character studies of his colleagues,
dramatic interpretation of 'Eurotrash,' and a musical finale
that threatened to steal the thunder from my own musical offering,
 as
it too was a song about a boss.
Alizinha's
story was about a guy who misrepresented himself on the Nerve.com
personals, but the lengths to which he went to lie was both
astounding and disturbing. Michael
DogPoet probably had the most serious story (although
it was really funny too), also concerning a romance that  flowered
online but ended up staying online because the guy was a nutjob
who seemed to have no intention of ever actually meeting anybody
in real life. How do these people reach the decision to reinvent
themselves on the basis on some huge lie that can't possibly
be sustained? And what did these people do before the Internet?
 Michael
Barrish read a story about office politics and undomesticated
animals that may or may not exist that must be seen (or read)
to be believed. That story is like New
Yorker-ready. The story points out that often in
situations in which you think your boss is nuts, the insanity
can drift over to your side of the fence, and next thing you
know you're as psycho as the object of your anger. His story
also gave me some good tips on sublimating my hostility towards
my boss by messing up little things on his computer when he's
not looking.
 And
of course here's me performing my song. Actually I don't have
any pictures because I was onstage at the time. But I do have
a video of the performance, which I will post once I've had
some time to convert it. I think the song came off well, but
I was a little leery of its content, since it was more a "my
boss pisses me off" song than a "my boss is crazy"
song. But by that time it had been a long night, so nobody
seemed particularly critical. I am most pleased that nobody
pointed out how similar my song was to "Tainted Love,"
which Sylvia had noted earlier.
Afterwards we went to Open
Air, which I can only recommend because it was 2-for-1
night and the bartender, to cut down on the nonsense, was
just giving everybody two drinks at a time. This made the
inflated-even-for-Manhattan drink prices tolerable. I took
the opportunity to babble endlessly about Blogging-as-Concept,
something I can never usually get away with in mixed company.
Strangely enough, most of my friends aren't really interested
in talking about blogs. It's like they're a dirty little secret
to be left at the office. I guess I'm starting understand
that a little.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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Wednesday,
October 20, 2004 at 15:47:37 (EDT) |
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I've got a time bomb in my mind, mom
So I neglected to tell you that on Friday there was a bomb threat
phoned in to somebody in my building. They didn't exactly empty
out the building, but lots of people skedaddled, probably less
out of fear and more out of the desire to flee their boring
jobs for a little while. The company just distributed a memo
reiterating the security policy (although there is still no
way to protect against having people call up your office with
phony bomb scares).
One of the things the memo reminds us:
- Do not admit anyone into your office area or floor unless
they have proper identification.
This is significant because
a) I was in the building on Friday and
b) I didn't really have proper identification
Although I have had an official ID card since I began working
for the organization, its functionality expires every year.
To reactivate it, my boss need only fax a brief memo to the
ID Department asking for it to be reinstated and for how long.
It would take only a moment. But for some reason it has always
been like pulling teeth to get him to comply (maybe he's trying
to tell me something). So when I started coming in the office
again, every day began with a trip to the Visitor's Desk to
get a Visitor's Pass even though I have a legitimate ID card.
For a temporary card it's pretty elaborate: a photo ID and
they even punch a hole in it and give you one of those shoelace
things to put around your neck.
The downsides of the Visitor's Pass are many. I have to go
through the metal detector (and invariably get the 'wand'
because my belt sets off the bell). And even when I get past
that obstacle, once I get to a given floor, I can't get in.
The doors outside the elevators are locked and can only be
opened with an official ID card. So I have to either call
somebody inside the office to come get me, or wait for somebody
to enter or exit. I've never been refused entry in this latter
manner, even though company policy strictly forbids it. But
if I had to depend on that policy I'd never get anywhere around
here. I do wonder if some of the people who let me in on Friday
didn't have a blanching moment when they heard about the bomb
threat, thinking for a second that maybe they let a terrorist
into the building.
Expect even more fascinating commentary like this tonight
at my performance.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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Wednesday,
October 20, 2004 at 08:50:41 (EDT) |
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Let's run it up the flagpole
Pictures from our ridiculous
show at Freddy's the other night.
TONIGHT: See Jimmy
Legs in person, performing a song about his annoying boss
at the WYSIWYG
Talent Show! It's at PS122,
starting at 7:30 PM. Cost is $7 but I'm sure it's well worth
it. Oh yes. Here's hoping I can remember all the words to
the song!
This working in the office thing blows, folks. I don't have
time to do anything. Plus the cats are lonely. On the upside,
there's always coffee at the office and the network responds
much more quickly than over the VPN. But I'm running out of
"work clothes" (shirts that aren't frayed and disintegrating).
Actually I probably have some stored away somewhere, but I'd
need to wash them first. And I don't have any time to do laundry
because I'm in the office all day!
I know I'm not getting any sympathy from you people, but
I gotta say now that I've tasted your lifestyle, I admire
your ability to do this all the time, but I gotta get out!
The only thing that gets me through is the knowledge that
in a matter of days I'll have my hard token and I'll be back
to my jet-setting world. You know, sitting in my bedroom,
talking to the cats.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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Tuesday, October
19, 2004 at 01:17:16 (EDT) |
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Back from the grave
This Snack truck made going into the office almost tolerable.
Here are photos of some of
the bands I saw during CMJ.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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