A salty salute
The aftermath
of my weird
blackout incident is beginning to rain down upon me: medical
bills showing up from pretty much every single person who
even glanced at me from the moment my head hit the pavement,
insurance claims that get rejected because they don't like
the way the hospital itemized things, and, worst of all, trying
to explain it to my parents. I really believe that a factor
of adulthood is learning to mitigate how much you tell your
parents about your life, for their own good. I now kind of
regret telling my father about it; it worries him that his
boy is dropping like a rock all over town and he thinks St.
Vincent's isn't a reputable enough hospital to properly diagnosis
me. It seems the only thing that will satisfy him is if I
keep seeing more and more expensive doctors until one of them
find a golf ball-sized tumor in my brain. Of course he doesn't
really think that, but I kind of get the impression he'd really
like a clearer explanation of it all. So would I, but I'm
also starting to think it was an isolated incident.
I just got copies of my medical records from the hospital,
and for the most part it would appear I'm in darned good health.
My blood pressure is well within the good range, my pulse
could be a little slower but still not bad for a guy who doesn't
really exercise. My general chemistry was fine, except apparently
I'm a little deficient in sodium, which almost sounds like
a good problem to have (that's right, I no longer buy 'low
sodium' V8! I rule.) I know a list of my internal stats
can't really give a complete picture, but from all the evidence
available, there's not really anything wrong with me. Except
...
While the CT scan, MRI, and EKG all came out normal, there
was one thing mentioned on the EEG report that concerns me.
Under the "Abnormal Activity" section the doc writes
I may have a mild degree of "bilateral dysfunction,"
which seems way too general to explain anything (but spooky
enough to send me googling for hours). To attempt to silence
my father, I'm seeing a neurologist on Friday to further blow
money so some guy can say, "Okay, follow the tip of this
pen with your eyes ..." But maybe he'll be some miracle
worker who can identify the source of my dysfunction.
We'll see what happens, but I have a new theory surrounding
all these events, honed by the curing effects of hindsight:
Henchmen secretly hired by the hospital lurk around 34th
Street, looking for prey. They spy a potential in a parka
who looks like he's heading for B&H
Electronics; they act fast. They approach from behind
and touch the back of his shaved head with a small
cattle prod. The victim collapses in a heap on the sidewalk,
at which time the hired goons flag down a waiting ambulance,
claiming the victim suddenly passed out. Paramedics take the
victim to the hospital, wherein he is forced to submit to
every test they can think of that doesn't get too invasive
for the patient to question. That patient is given no conclusive
explanation for what has transpired and he is sent home with
vague information about seeking follow-up treatment ... outside
the hospital. Thus, the hospital is able to send the patient
several huge bills, paying off everyone from goon to discharging
attendant. Patient becomes indigent after paying said bills,
and eventually dies in the gutter, clutching an empty bottle
of full-sodium V8.
Posted By Jimmy Legs
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So after over a month, I finally have my amp back in my possession.
The boys down at Main Drag are swamped with fixit jobs, so I
knew there would be a bit of delay. Also I didn't know what
had caused my amp to smoke like Art Garfunkel on the interstate,
or how serious the repair would be. So for a long time I thought
they were slaving away on it, so I didn't think to disturb them.
Turns out it was just sitting in the back for most of the 4
weeks it was there. The final labor time came out to be 1.75
hours; all that needed to be repaired was a diode and and resistor
that had blown in the EQ's power supply. So the amp itself was
never in any real danger, and the total cost to fix it was pretty
nominal. So I can still heartily recommend Main Drag, but only
if you don't need your gear back right away. As for places that
could give a quick turnaround time, I still need to seek that
out. Are there any places around here that could fix an amp
and have it back within, say, a week? I suppose one of the big
shops on 48th Street might be able to handle that, but Williamsburg's
a little easier to get to than Tin Pan Alley. 
