Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 12:11:44 (EST)

My job is just that important
Last night was the big site launch. Yay. M came over to keep my spirits up while I waited till midnight to push a couple of buttons. I had to dial into a conference call with my boss and a bunch of guys from Phoenix. Then we sat there for literally an hour while some dude did the 'data migration' (copied files). I swear, there are a million ways to say "I copied some files."

  • I migrated data
  • Data was propagated to the server
  • I published the site
  • I launched the site
  • I soft-launched the site
  • I hard-launched the site
  • Altered and improved code supersedes currently existing data
  • Chaw was put into pipe and smoked
  • I dumped the galoshes by the seaside and the seashell$
  • Starblazers are GO!

Anyhow, while waiting for the geek to complete his mission, I just had to sit there. I couldn't get off the phone or really talk or anything. So M went home, and it was a good thing he did. I was only beginning my anguish. When the data had finally migrated south for the winter, I was allowed to launch my pages. I did this in all of thirty seconds. Then the Phoenix guys started going through the site with a fine toothed anal comb. First it was discovered that one section of the site did not seem to be updated. I explained to them that this part of the site was actually hosted by a third party who should be fixing the problem, but there was nothing we could do right then. Despite the simplicity of that, they kept bringing it up for the rest of the call, as though they expected it to be fixed by the time we finished. Then they found the incorrect links.

Out Content Management Application is supposed to make life easier by allowing us to build pages with components. If you want the same thing to appear on every page, you call the same component for each. This makes updating an entire site as easy as updating a single file. But alas, the application had gone hincky and I realized a large part of the site had not propagated as I intended (I like that word). So I have to go through each page and change one link, which takes way too long. Lemme tell ya, it feels really pathetic to be editing web pages with Vignette StoryServer at 1:15 AM on Friday night. More so than I thought even.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

Here's a fascinating piece on Data Migration
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Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 18:30:54 (EST)

We need a set of counterfeit knitting needles
So they've been testing how easy it is to get into the US with fake documents, and it turns out it's easier to do than to buy beer as a minor in Mentor, Ohio. Didn't Bush say he wasn't gonna make it easy? Didn't he say a lotta things? So you can pass through the border with a Photoshopped ID, but you can't fly to Newark from Montreal with a pair of blunt wooden knitting needles? Well, they did this to B to stop her in bloodthirsty attempt to knit a scarf. If ya want, you can read the whole tale of our Paris excursion here.

Posted By Jimmy Legs
It's just that easy to sneak into the USA
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Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 18:21:21 (EST)

I was right all along!
So Frognet upgraded their version of Perl, which no longer recognizes a command in my comments thingy. The tech guy who helped me edited the code to point it to the old version of Perl so the comments thing should work again. So all the millions of people who visit this site like it was the NY Times can once again make their voices heard! [cricket sounds]

I'm still moving out to my own domain, but we all know how long a move can take. I gotta pack all this shit up and label it and whatnot. In the meantime I gotta learn PHP or ASP or some other combination of letters. Then I gotta find something to put on this site besides whining about the site itself. I'm gonna go pick a fight.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 15:48:55 (EST)

But how can I get a domain when 'clownpenis.com' is taken?
Finally heard from the Frognet guys, who are still diagnosing this blog's maladies. I shoulda known this couldn't last forever, stealing scripts and bending them to my own evil will. Wait a minute, I worked for like a month trying to figure out that comments module! Ugh, wotta pain that was. But then I got it to work, and this is how Karma repays me. Well, I've learned my lesson. It's time I actually learned how to do something useful on the web. I've gotta teach myself PHP! Honestly, the only reason this blog has been CGI driven is because when I entered upon it, all I knew was CGI, and it was stuff I had learned in 1996. CGI hasn't really changed, you see. Since then, there have been myriad methods of dynamic composition created for the brainless and brain-challenged alike. What I've done with this blog was as good as I could do without really using any unexplored part of my brain. Now, as ever, evolution commands me to adapt or die, so, begrudgingly, I will adapt. I'm gonna learn PHP and rebuild the site with it. I really should learn ASP, since then I might actually become an asset to my profession, instead of its big-toed stepchild. But ASP repels me, even though I use it at work. It's too proprietary. Plus, if I actually learn it and am still no good at it then I won't be able to use that as an excuse anymore ("Sorry, Boss, I'm an HTML coder, I don't know nuthin' 'bout debuggin' no ASP.")

Last night I started shopping around for cheap web hosting. Yes, after nearly eight years of just being a username after a "~" sign, I am embarking on my own domain. While I'm at it, I should probably set up a domain that I can actually show my parents, since they always wanna see pictures and stuff. If anybody out there had a particularly good (and cheap!) host, tell me about it. I'm leaning towards some company called TopChoice right now, mostly because they are dirt-cheap and gimme a lotta storage space. I should have higher standards, but I don't. I really wanted a place whose servers were actually located in Brooklyn, but it seems high real estate prices are the bane of hosting companies, so most of them are out in the midwest.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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