Got the Jimmy Legs

My view stretches out from the fence to the wall


Gazing out, originally uploaded by Jimmy Legs.

One of the things that sold me on our house (aside from the fact we couldn't afford anything else we looked at) was the size of the kitchen. It's a 22×11 foot room with a lot of counter space and one really old sink. Its only downside was its lack of light. It's on the ground floor and the only light came through a tiny window (and a little from the open vent in the wall meant for a range hood.)

The back door was a big metal exterior door. Soon after we moved in I decided to change the lockset on it, as the existing one was rusty and rinky-dink. The same night I chose to irrevocably remove the old knob (I had to pry it out in pieces) was the same night the people who lived behind the hosue on the next street decided to have a loud argument, which led to a loud fight, which led to a loud round on gunfire. It was our first "on the block" experience with shootings, and definitely the first time we literally didn't have a door to hide behind. I will never forget that night, standing half in and half out of the house, struggling to remove the old hardware while somebody protected their precious reputation (the argument involved the oft-elusive 'respect' one participant was not receiving in kind from others.) At no time did I think, "I've made a huge mistake buying this house," after all we'd explored the neighborhood a lot before committing to buy. No, what I thought was, "I hate this fucking door." I got the new knob in and engaged the deadbolt, safely inside. The crisis was over but I never stopped hating that ugly-ass door.

So it's been nearly 3 years since then and while the door still hasn't gotten me shot, it's proving hateful right back at us. Its wood frame warped in humid weather, which as you know, has been pretty much every day so far in 2009. You have to literally slam against it to get it open, at which time a bunch of cats would either run in or out, depending on which side had food left. The door sucked, we needed more light in the kitchen … a glass door seemed obvious.

Actually it seemed obvious over a year ago, when I first got a guy out for an estimate. Disagreement between me and my lady led to apathy and we never got the door. So this year, when we got our tax refunds we committed to get rid of the old door, contact NorthernLightsExteriors.com and pick out with their help a glass door and accompanying security door.

It took them 6 weeks to get back out to install it (after a gentle reminder) and after a few false starts we finally have it! It's a total generic door, I guess there's not a whole lot of creativity at this level of industry, but it's doing the trick. Having two doors is a little cumbersome, but at least I can open both with a couple of fingers instead of concentrating all my force onto my shoulder as I try to bash my way outside.

The cat are fascinated by it; Stymie tried to jump 'through' the glass door and received an unfortunate lesson. They line up at the door to peer into the yard. And the feral cats line up outside to peer in. We still have to get some kind of curtain for it, but for now I don't want to do anything to obstruct the view.

Sending out an SOS

I've spent all morning downloading applications of dubious utility to my company-owned Blackberry. The reason: the company has seen fit to start blocking all manner of websites AGAIN. They did this before, blocking nearly every site that one might find entertaining or distracting. But then they relaxed the restriction and allowed some site, like Gmail (though they blocked the gChat feature). Then a few months ago, restrictions seemed to really relax, and we had unfettered access to all but the most offensive and evil sites (ie, hotrepublicansex.com, etc.) But over the last few days, they have been systematically clamping down again. I have a theory that you can gauge how well a company is doing by how much leeway they allow their employees online. So I guess the company is hitting the skids again. Oh well.

I now have Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Yahoo Mail, Flickr and the Opera Mini Browser installed. It's not as easy to use as their Web counterparts, but at least I don't have to feel marooned at the office. Honestly without these distractions (plus selected blogs), how could I be expected to survive a day at this Mediocrity Factory? Well, I could probably live without Twitter but maybe I'm just not following enough interesting people. Story of my life.

P.S. Don't forget! See SPIKE the Angora cat at the North Shore Adoption Van this SUNDAY in Park Slope, outside NYC Pet, 5th Ave @Union/President, Brooklyn.

You're as cold as ice

I promised I wouldn't make any more Spike posts, but whatever. Spike was all set to move out on Sunday, when his would-be adopter emailed to back out at the last minute. It's not like me to talk smack about someone on a blog, but what a douche. I don't know what it is, but this poor cat has brought out nothing but losers and psychopaths from the first post, several months ago. I don't know why I can't find a normal person who's not a total flake to adopt him. We're not really asking a tall order here, either.

Anyway, our loss is your gain, in that Spike will be on display this coming Sunday, outside the NYC Pet store in Park Slope. He will be joining a bunch of other cats on the North Shore Animal League Adoption Van, which is really more of a huge panel truck full of pets. I don't know what he'll do in the cage, with strangers streaming by him, but I'm hoping he puts on the dog, so to speak. He knows he's a looker, so hopefully he'll strut and pout his way into a permanent home.

Sunday, June 21, Noon-5:00PM (est.)
NYC Pet, 218 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY (718) 230-8224
http://www.nycpet.com/

Bird on a wire

I don't have much to add to this story but I wanted to note it on my blog, if only so I could look back in the future and note the moment in history when the Port Authority decided it had the right to round up a bunch of animals that had done absolutely nothing wrong and kill them. This goose thing is amazingly stupid. It is proven the birds most often getting caught in jet engines are migratory geese, not this bunch that live here (sure a few may be from the 'dangerous' group but come on). Even if every goose killed could somehow be guaranteed to get sucked into a plane's rotors, it still isn't a long-term solution, unless they plan on killing every single goose, gull, pelican and egret in the country. They're going to kill a bunch now, but of course, more will come to take their place. That's an ECOSYSTEM; gassing a bunch of geese isn't policy, it's distraction.

Yet somehow with almost everyone (except the NY Post) against them, they have already begun the mass slaughter. I don't care what you think about geese, but this should be at least mildly annoying to all of us.

She's gonna love me in my Chevy van


Lucy makes sure nothing happens to the cat food

You people with cars won't understand this, but sometimes we sit around and discuss all the things we could do if we had one. How we could go to Ikea, to Costco, to the Catskills (I don't know why we bring that up, neither of us knows anything about the Catskills). The idea that we could have something to not only transport us around but also hold heavy items so that we may bring them to our door, well, let's just say we understand the allure.

Eventually these conversation descend into all the reasons we SHOULDN'T ever have a car: the costs, the worries about theft, the moving from one side of the street to the other all the time. So we end feeling pleased we are still reliant on mass transit. But this weekend we were able to tool around and block the box like all those SOBs who act like they don't see me jaywalking on 23rd St.

Empty Cages had put out a request for a washing machine, and a woman offered up her washer and dryer for free. Someone would need to go get them, but nearly every member of the group was working an adoption event scheduled for the same day. They needed a Transporter.

I saw this not only as an opportunity to help out the group but to turn the whole thing to my selfish advantage and take the van out shopping after my chores were done. So I picked up the van at my favorite Uhaul spot in East New York where the receptionist calls everybody "Honey" and your transactions are constantly interrupted by people buying bags of ice (their other business) and people yelling at each other loudly. I got the van and an appliance dolly and started up to the BQE. Before getting on the highway, I stopped off at a friend's house to finally pick up the air conditioner she said I could have months before. Originally I intended to use this AC myself, but somehow I promised it to Empty Cages along the way (maybe it's a cult). With the AC stowed, I was off to Bay Ridge.

I got there way faster than I thought (thank you Robert Moses), located the apartment and found the donators ready for me. The woman's burly son, along with his burly friend, were ready with the washer/dryer. These things were huge, front-loading machines, the washing machine itself weighing almost 250 pounds. With effort we got them into the van with millimeters to spare.

As I headed up to the shelter space, I was already doing the math: 2 Burly Guys + Me = Barely got it into the van, therefore me + [UNKNOWN] = spinal injury. I got up to the space and amassed a few people to help move them. It didn't look good, unfortunately it appears that cat rescue attracts few really muscular people. But lucky for us, some truly tough guys were right down the block.

There's been a big bus on the block for a while now, all painted and graffiti-covered, and big dudes are always around working on it. It's one of those biodiesel conversions, which is better for the environment (even better for it is the fact that it hasn't moved in weeks). We asked a couple of the guys if they would help and they agreed.

We tried to pitch in but they basically did all the work, strapping the machines to the dolly and lugging it up the narrow stairs. Their only remuneration: they wanted to meet the roosters (liberated from cockfighting dens in the Bronx). They said they hear them crowing all the time and had wondered where it came from. The rooster complied loudly.

With the machines dropped off, the job was essentially over. This gave me the perfect excuse to commandeer the van and use it to my own nefarious purposes. I drove home, picked up Jeannie and we drove to the Sunset Park Costco.

I haven't been in a wholesale store in years and Jeannie had never been. It's pretty overwhelming at first. We got memberships and ID card and waded through the enormous crowds with our oversize cart. We knew we wanted cat supplies but we didn't have a list or even a clear idea of what Costco carried. I was convinced they would have 'everything' from kitty litter to furniture, while Jeannie thought it would be far more limited. The truth was somewhere in the middle, an odd collection of stuff with no discernible theme. You could buy 20-packs of bar soap, but they didn't carry Ivory. You could select from a huge variety in brands of laundry detergent but no one brand had the oil-drum size I was searching for. However in some areas they had exactly what we were looking for.

I had been told by Lisacat that Costco carried a decent-quality cat food, and indeed, it is higher quality that it has any need to be. It's all chicken and rice, no wheat and no meat by-products. It's sold in 25-lb. bags, of which we bought 5. They also had cases of canned Friskies which we also picked up. But there wasn't much else in the way of cat supplies, just some Iams and 40-lb. buckets of Scoop Away litter (we bought one even though I find Scoop Away overly perfumey). I still can't figure out why the cat food was so premium when they don't appear to have much interest in cats beyond these few supplies, but I'll take it.

After getting that, everything else was gravy. The place is huge; at first I thought it was merely big until I realized there was a whole other floor to the place. We bought as much stuff as we could justify and by the time we got to the check-out, we both had to push the cart, it was so heavy. We lucked with a short check-out line and got back to the van in plenty of time (and oh yeah, we stopped at the liquor store next door and bought a couple of huge bottles of Jim Beam, just in case we need several gallons of whiskey soon).

We got the stuff home and dumped it off (the cats were very excited to see the cat food so it had to be stowed in the bathroom until we could deal with it). We got the van back before the office closed, so we didn't have to worry about getting up in the morning to return it. I can't believe it all went down without any mishaps, usually these vehicle encounters always result in some injury, however small. But I managed to drive without running into anything/anybody, and near as I can figure the equipment we transported suffered no real damage. Mission Accomplished.

So it was fun having an excuse to drive around and do stuff in a car, but by the end of the day I was happy to return it and walk away. There's just too many things to worry about when you own a car, and I got enough stuff to obsess over these days. But maybe I will sign up for that Zipcar thing, although I'm not sure it's worth it when the Uhaul van is closer and cheaper. And really, is there anything cooler than driving a cargo van that tells everyone how cheap you are?