Got the Jimmy Legs

July 20, 2007 – 2:07 pm

What you'd like to sell me I'm not buying

It's the end of another frustrating week! I guess it wasn't all bad, but I'm building a new web site for my job and I have to use the most irritating content management system software ever created. This CMS replaces the old one, which previously held that title. Before they rolled out the new system, they promised it would alleviate the issues of the old system and generally make life as effortless as sipping a mojito under a palm tree at dusk.

However, the opposite is true.

The system is incredibly convoluted and completely useless, except as a means to drive me insane. It could only have been designed by back-end programmers. No offense, but you how when new products come out, ie Apple Computers, they use words like "elegant," "intuitive," and "robust"? These are the three words that absolutely do NOT describe the system I am working with now. I can't even get into what's wrong with it here, because it would take so long to explain how Rube-Golbergesquely insanely overcomplicated it is. So let's talk about cats!

Three of the four kittens are eating solid food, and I think somebody used the litterbox (something's in it, I dunno what). Walking into the room now is akin to stepping into a racquetball court while somebody shoots ping pong balls at your ankles with a potato gun. Well, it's not that bad, but it probably will be.

Meanwhile, Marbles wasn't seen for a couple of days, then she showed up last night looking slimmer with decidedly mauled udders. We had hoped to get her to have her kittens inside the house, but I think she didn't dig all the other cats around. So her kittens are out there somewhere. After she loaded upon food, she dashed across the street. I followed her a bit to try to figure out where she nested. But instead of darting into the parking lot, she hopped up the stoop across the street, where a man sat smoking. He petted her, and Marbles looked completely at home. Jesus, does she live there? Has she been playing the homeless cat routine in an effort to get two feeding stations in the neighborhood? And is she doing this at more locations around the neighborhood?

Of course my main questions is, if somebody owns her, why the hell isn't she fixed? But I've learned this question falls on largely deaf ears in the neighborhood. I just hope plans are being made for the kittens, and they won't just end up rooting through the garbage in a couple of months. I'll be very interested to see how many people show up at the mobile spay unit on the 30th. Which reminds me, I should put up some flyers for it soon.

Which brings me to another pet-related irritant: pet stores that sell puppies and kittens. the pet store on Broadway off the Kosciusko stop on the J has some of each. They don't really have much space to move around in, and who knows if they ever get taken out of them before getting sold. Besides the less-than-great conditions they live in, the puppies may well be the products of disreputable breeders, aka 'puppy mills,' grinding out as many dogs as possible, health and safety sacrificed for profit (how much money do these places make anyway?)

The Prospect Heights Message Board has a huge thread on a new pet store on Flatbush that reportedly is selling such puppies. Although I feel they may have immediately jumped to worst conclusion (that the owner is trafficking in unhealthy puppy mill dogs, keeping them in unsafe conditions in the store, and indirectly adding to the crisis of the homeless pet population), but so far most of their suspicions seem to be true, although I have not been there myself and am admittedly getting all my info here from a message board. It's the Wikipedia Effect, I guess, but just because anybody can claim anything they want as fact … doesn't necessarily mean it's NOT true, right? Isn't living in the modern age a blast?

In any case, it's a depressing situation to me even if the puppies are registered or whatever they do to prove a dog isn't the result of a mother and son dog gettin' it on. It just goes back to the irrefutable fact that there are so many animals in shelters, why in the hell would anybody buy a retail dog or cat? Frankly, I didn't need to see Best in Show to suspect that people who are into dog breeding are not operating on the same wavelength as most of us.

Anyway, I guess the simplest way to handle these pet stores is just not to shop there. That's easy enough for the one in Prospect Heights: I don't live anywhere near there, and if I did, I'd go to Acme Pet Supplies. In my neighborhood, there's Pets Ahoy, the aforementioned pet store, and the Pigeon store near my house, which may or may not have cat supplies (their hours seem to be something like 'Noon to Noon-thirty, weekdays'). Given the schedules that most New Yorkers maintain, how possible is it to avoid a pet store if it's convenient? For my part, I don't go by Pets Ahoy on a regular basis, I work near a Petland Discounts (they sell rodents and birds, the latter I'm beginning to think shouldn't be there either), its only real failure is that Science Diet cat food is $20 for an 8.5lb bag!

By Jimmy Legs | Posted in Bad Stuff, Cats, Feral, Job, kittens, Pets, Strays, The City | Comments Off

July 16, 2007 – 9:46 am

Even if you don't please

I forgot to take pictures of the kittens again, but I'll try to take some tonight. It's pretty fascinating to watch the progress. They are now a month old and are behaving more and more like cats and less like larvae.

Elsewhere in the cataverse, I thought another rundown of the main locals is in order. Many of the cats who hung around a while ago have not been seen in a while, while new cats have appeared to take their places.

Marbles. This is the cat that I thought was male at first, but she proved me wrong by getting pregnant. She hasn't given birth yet, we have tried to get her inside but she doesn't like to stay long after she eats. Then again, she will lie for hours next to our garbage cans, which apparently she prefers to our comfy chairs.

Gladys. This little female started showing up about the time we realized Marbles was pregnant, I had hoped to ensnare her and have her fixed. Then I realized she already gave birth and was currently nursing a litter. No telling how old they are or where they are being raised.

Jojo. This young male showed up the other day, barged into the house, flopped down on the floor and hasn't left. He will not take no for an answer and I'm a sucker for a gray tabby. Since we seem to have no choice in the matter it looks like we're keeping him. I wanna take him into the shop to make sure he's not harboring some horrible disease. He still spends nights outside until we can confirm his health and his ability to play nice with others.

Siamese Cat. This guy is a prizewinner. I don't think he's purebred because he's sort of muscular and stocky for a Siamese. But he's one good-lookin' cat. If anybody wants a Siamese, I'm working on taming him and will try to get him fixed. How does such a cat become a stray? Even if he's a mix, these cats don't usually come cheap. We came up with a host of theories, usually involving an elderly dowager who owned the cat, then died, leaving him homeless. That's probably not what happened, but at least it allows me to look at him and not necessarily think somebody tossed him on the street on purpose.

Chauncey. You may remember this guy, we haven't seen him for a long time. He was part of the whole crew of cats who used to come by and try to steal our cats' food. His sudden reappearance gives me hope that some of the other cats we haven't seen lately are still out there and okay. We're nearly positive he had an owner now, since he's been MIA for months and then shows up looking totally healthy. Unfortunately, the intervening months have shifted his personality from goofball older kitten to randy young adult. He got into the house and got into a fight with Lucy which I feel only happened because she's the only unaltered female around. It's too bad, he was a fun cat. This makes me want to take him in and have him fixed, even though he's not a stray. Imagine his owner's surprise when he comes home sans balls! Anyway it's an interesting ethical question.

And finally, the New Cat. Actually, there are at least two of them, as a pair showed up the other night. I think they're washing their paws in the water dish I leave out. They are enormous, by the way. What bizarre animals.

Also sighted lately include George, the tuxedo cat (newly-thin after giving birth, we assume), the flea collar cat, the second Russian Blue (who showed up the same day as Chauncey, they may both be owned by the same person).

Sadly, no one has seen Mugsy in a long time.

Previously:
In the diet of denial

By Jimmy Legs | Posted in Brooklyn, Bushwick, Cats, Feral, kittens, Pets, Strays, The Yard | Comments Off

July 13, 2007 – 12:15 pm

Operation: snip & tie

Gothamist had another depressing post about the number of cats in the city. Damn there are a lot of cats here! And people do not seem to be getting any smarter. I commented that it seemed to me the best course of action for the city would be to offer free neutering to any pet owners. If people would only get their pets fixed, we wouldn't be up to our ears in the first place. Of course, there's already a huge number of wild cats out there too. But I don't think it's the feral cats who are dropping of boxes of kittens in front of every shelter in town.

Anyway, somebody responded to my comment with:

The ASPCA offers FREE and low-cost spay and neuter services six days a week for pet owners who are residents of New York City's five boroughs.

Low income pet owners in New York City's five boroughs with proof of public assistance such as Welfare, Medicaid, Medicare, SSI, Disability, Food Stamps, or Public Housing qualify. Unemployment does not qualify. If you do not have proof of public assistance, a $25 donation per animal is requested.

The ASPCA website has the schedule of spay/neuter clinic locations and more info on the "New York Services" page:

http://www.aspca.org

Or you can call for the schedule here:
(212) 876-7700 / Ext.4303

Hey! Somebody is offering free/low-cost neutering, AND coming to specific neighborhoods! Now my question is, are they telling anybody about this? If you check the calendar, you will see the mobile spay unit does get around. In fact, it's been to Bushwick recently. Funny, I didn't hear about it. Oh yeah that's right, NOBODY TOLD ANYBODY THEY WERE COMING.

Maybe I'm not going to the right parties or reading the right magazines, is the SPCA promoting this fact in any real sense? I don't know what I want from them exactly, but I've been trying to find resources for "cheap fixes" for some time and this is the first I've heard of it. So I'm trying to think of ways to spread the word, aside from the mighty power that is this blog.

I really can't figure out the mindset of people who own pets but don't get them fixed, especially cats. Unaltered cats, male and female, are full of drawbacks. The males caterwaul, fight, and spray everything in sight. Females go into heat and then have kittens all over the place. Would the owners of animals who do this have the wherewithal to note when the mobile unit would be in town and get their cats worked on? Seems unlikely to me.

Worse is the fact that the next time the mobile unit comes to my neighborhood, it'll be on a workday, so only the unemployed or those in a position to take time off from work can make it. I know this thing has to roll all over town, but this still sucks. I think I can take the day off from my job, but lots of people don't have that flexibility. Oh well, it's a start.

All this cat stuff is grating on me of late, as I've noticed even more pregnant cats in the street lately. Apparently this is prime kitten season, but there's a lot of summer left.

… Plus we kind of took in another cat the other day, but that's a story for another day. Spread the word about the mobile spay unit and get your damn cats fixed!

By Jimmy Legs | Posted in Brooklyn, Bushwick, Cats, Pets | Comments Off

July 11, 2007 – 9:23 am

Don't come around here no more

I don't talk about my job much because it's boring. If it's any indication, it's less exciting than both cats and back yard gardens, given how much I post on these latter topics vs. my job. Tomorrow, as per my 'development plan' I must attend a day-long training session in my old office building downtown. The only problem is, I don't know where in the building.

There are any number of floors in this building that belong to my company; the training could be on any one of them, or none at all (some trainings are held in nearby hotel conference rooms). When I confirmed my attendance, I received an email detailing the training. Under 'Location' it read only "3B/C."

What the hell is 3B/C? Somebody tell me, is this some standard nomenclature I don't know about? The building has some 60 floors, and who-knows how many rooms on each. So I emailed them back to clarify.

hi,
I will be in your class on Thursday, but i'm not sure where exactly it will be located (i work in the midtown office). can you let me know the floor and room number?

thanks,
jimmy

I thought this was pretty straightforward, just tell me the floor and room and I'll be there. The response:

We have a midtown office? I did not know that. We are at [123 Office Street], E Train to Chambers/WTC. Use the entrance marked [123], go up the escalator. Do you know if we have to clear you through security?

Um, okay. I now know the building, but they've only got me up to the security desk. I asked simply for floor and room number, the info they've given me only narrows it down to a city block. But, they don't know I used to work there so I'm familiar with its location and already have an ID card. So I reply,

hi,
yes there's a small office in midtown for [our department]. i used to work in the tower so i have access, but what floor and room number will the training be in?

thanks,

Again I try to simply specify I need to know what floor and what room this training will be in. I feel like a dork for having to ask the exact same question again, but I know what I need to know, I'm just at a loss as to why they aren't giving me a straight answer.

Sounds great thanks for clarifying. The training will be held in 3B/C. We look forward to your attendance.

Huh? Wait, did they just give me this 3B/C shit again? Oh no she didn't! I still don't know what that means, despite several emails back and forth. I send a final, pathetic message:

i'm sorry, i don't know what 3b/c means. is it the 3rd floor? i guess there will be signs to direct me when i arrive.

Frankly, I'm hoping there aren't signs. I don't want to go to this training anyway. And if I remember correctly, the 3rd floor is the cafeteria, and there are no conference rooms there. But hey, I tried. We'll see, maybe there will be a marching band waiting in the lobby to take me up to the magical 3B/C room.

Oh, did I mention this is a training in marketing communication. Can't wait!

UPDATE: Just received this mass email to all participants:

Good Day-

Tomorrow's session begins promptly at 9am on the 3rd floor (cafeteria floor) in Rooms B and C. Continental Breakfast will be available at 8:30am. We look forward to your participation. Thank you and have a great day.

Whaddya know, there ARE conference rooms on the cafeteria floor. So am I a moron for not figuring this out? Still shouldn't have taken them so long to clear it up. Stupid babies need the most attention!

That continental breakfast still isn't enough to get me in there before 9.

By Jimmy Legs | Posted in Bad Stuff, Office | Comments Off

July 9, 2007 – 2:26 pm

The Curly Shuffle

The Ringleader, originally uploaded by Jimmy Legs.

The kittens are coming along nicely. At 3 weeks, they can all walk fairly competently, can play with each other, and wake us up in the middle of the night when they start whining because they're stepping on each others' heads.

By far this gray and white kitten has been paving the way for the others. even at 2 weeks old he was moving more and talking more than the others. He was the first to purposefully exit the closet and start exploring the room. He was also the first one to use his voice to communicate, much to our chagrin. He already has a large vocabulary of squeaks and groans and shrieks. He has never been shy about vocalizing. From what I've been reading about kitten development, until recently the kittens couldn't even hear particularly well, so I'm hoping he will quiet down now that he can hear how annoying he is.

He started engaging the other kittens in play fighting several days ago. He could barely walk a straight line but he still tried to bat the other kittens around. Soon they picked up on it, and now they're all smacking each other around, like tiny versions of the 3 Stooges.

Meanwhile, kitten mania in South Bushwick continues unabated. Marbles is largely pregnant, we're not sure what to do with her, since she won't come into the house for any length of time. We don't want to force her so I'm thinking of putting a box out on the stoop areaway so maybe she'll go in there.

On top of that, this OTHER young cat has been coming around lately. She could be from the same litter as Lucy, she's a calico too, but more rounded than Lucy. I was thinking of getting her in so I could have her fixed BEFORE she gets pregnant, only to realize yesterday that she's nursing a litter RIGHT NOW. Great. I don't know where these kittens are, or if we'll ever get to see them. But of course, if we do, you will certainly see photos of them here. Oh yes.