Thursday, March 25, 2004 at 13:20:06 (EST)

What gives, my son?
Sorry if it razzed anybody when I made light of those with an office-bound existence, but at least you'll really appreciate it when you're livin' it up this weekend. And how come so many people work in windowless offices? I worked for two years in a hospital basement so I feel your pain. Also my room does not get a lot of direct sunlight and when it does it glares on the computer screen and make working even more difficult than it already is.

But back to the weekend: Do you ever notice how easy it is to make vague plans far into the future, only to chafe at them when they actually come to fruition? I've been telling my dad and step-mom to visit for a year (in a vacation-type capacity, he's here all the time for business), and they finally called my bluff. They'll be here tomorrow night, so my weekend will revolve around entertaining them and doing what I can to convince them that my life is stable and impressive.

They have some touristy things they wanna do that will pass the time nicely: I'm to take them all over lower Manhattan, see the WTC site and where my old building used to be, visit Liberty Island to see that statue up close, go up the Empire State Building. I also thought it was high time I went to the LES Tenement Museum (catty-corner to Guss' Pickles!) and the Museum of Natural History. I'll do anything to stay out of the Met, I've just been there way too many times.

So besides going to restaurants I can't usually afford, what else do I do with these people? There had been talk of taking in a play, but I'm really out of the loop on that these days, and tickets may be hard to come by so late. Maybe I can convince them to go to the Transit Museum, although this itinerary is starting to sound less like A Parent's Visit as it is Stuff I've Been Meaning to Do but Never Get Around To BEcause I'm Watching Heist Again. Ooh, we should brunch at Thomas Beisl. I can pay for it, thus making them think I am financially solvent and that not all of my neighborhood is unreclaimed slum.

I don't know why I feel the need to have such a subversive agenda for an innocent visit, but I do.

Unrelated news: Finally, somebody had the guts to do what was necessary regarding this whole gay marriage. They banned ALL marriages! I'm moving.

Posted By Jimmy Legs | Non-PermaLink

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Wednesday, March 24, 2004 at 15:08:04 (EST)

School's out for summer
Finally looks like Spring outside! School dismissed! All bloggers are directed to drop their keyboards and spend the rest of the day picking dandelions in the park. Or hang out on the Alibi's back porch and frolic with the rats.

Posted By Jimmy Legs | Non-PermaLink
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 10:55:18 (EST)

Baby's on fire
I figure I should bring it up since I used to bitch about it all the time, but the Smoking Ban had its first anniversary yesterday (although I thought the ban went into effect April 1 which I remember cuz it was the night I got beat up). Anyhow, Gothamist has a good little write-up, complete with the never ending stream of comments from people who still think we want to hear about how nice they smell when they get home. Okay! We get it already! You love how you smell! Quit telling me! These people have obviously never spent an evening in one of my favorite bars, after which you leaving smelling like something unpleasant, but it ain't smoke.

From the looks of it, even though the ban has been in effect for a year, the debate about whether or not it should exist is still going strong. I've totally fallen out of the debate in recent months, as the stupid arena thing has taken precedence. It turns out some senators are introducing a bill for the exemption of the ban in certain cases. Great, but would an exemption from the state override the city's separate ban?

Speaking of bans, the the dopes spearheading the federal gay marriage ban have revised their proposal to make it more palatable. The new wording specifically defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, but will allow states to determine the exact benefits of same-sex unions. Which means to me that even if this dumbass bill were to pass, there would still be so much confusion at the state level as to render it useless.

And the moment we've all been waiting for: Jesse Ventura gives his views on the gay marriage ban proposal. Actually, his comment that "Love is bigger than government" is kinda cute.

Posted By Jimmy Legs | Non-PermaLink

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Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 01:36:07 (EST)

... And justice for all ... cats
That's right, folks, I'm to be a juror for the mighty county of Kings. Not only that but I'm supposed to report the Supreme Court (unless this is where everyone goes?)

You can all sleep a little easier, knowing that I wield in my tiny fist the Hammer of Justice, pummeling the Fine Decorative Crystal of Evil.

Actually, I may not get to affix this jaunty Juror card to my lapel at all. I'm on "telephone standby," and the instructions say I'm to call the day before to find out whether or not I need to show up. From what I understand, this could go on for days until they finally lower the boom and make me actually have to leave the house for something besides more Jim Beam. It is interesting to note that if you search for "telephone standby juror" the only sites that come up are blogs. Alas.

But if I don't get in, I'm gonna start wearing the juror badge around the house and when the cats bug me I'll jump up and shout "GUILTY!"

My life has a certain, quiet dignity.

Posted By Jimmy Legs | Non-PermaLink

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Monday, March 22, 2004 at 12:09:57 (EST)

This looks familiar, oddly familiar
I got talked into going to the Gil Mantera show on Saturday, something I didn't think I would ever do again. But several people made cases of varying credibility that made me think I had misjudged them last time. But no, I was right the first time. Actually they weren't so bad, but for being the crazy band they reportedly are, they always seem to be pulling their punches. Maybe they need more props. However, it wasn't intolerable (Gil, feel free to use this in your press kit!). On the ohter hand, Grand Buffet was hilarious as ever. As long as the two bands always tour together it's not a total loss.

At some point I was waiting in a line of strangers for the bathroom at Piano's and someone asked, "So is everybody here from Ohio?" And we all glumly groaned in the affirmative. Certainly, I knew a lot of people in Ohio who now live here, but what is stranger to me is how I've been hanging out with another group of Ohioans I never met until long after I moved here. I guess the allure is the fact that we all know the same people, we just never crossed paths before. In some ways it's a perfect way to make friends: we have some things in common that we go back to if needed, but they have never heard my catalogue of amusing anecdotes involving pot brownies, Ever clear and taxi cabs. It's a little like meeting long lost relatives. Even MRK noted that the Ohio people all seem familiar, as though he'd met them before. So is it just us, or does this happen to people whenever you meet somebody from where you grew up?

Also, please note: The Cherry Tavern in the East Village has a drink special, a can of Tecaté and a shot of bottom-shelf Tequila for $5. Never, under any circumstances, take advantage of this offer. Especially after 3 AM.

Posted By Jimmy Legs | Non-PermaLink

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Week of March 21-27, 2004

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