Tomorrow I'm going to the Virgin Islands. I'm not really clear on where that is exactly, but I was looking at a map and it seems to be among a tangle of little islands in the Caribbean. I also learned that there is no real difference between the terms "Caribbean" and "West Indies." I used to think these were discrete regions but apparently not. I'm not sure I should be allowed to go to a place I know so little about, but hey … God Bless America.

My girlfriend's sister lives there, otherwise I'm not sure we could justify such a trip. I'll be spending the week surrounded by her relatives, which I am hoping will be very enlightening. She has a lot of siblings, some of whom she hasn't seen in many years, so neither of us really knows what to expect. We're both optimistic yet slightly fearful that somebody will want to do stuff while we're there.

My parents have a problem in that they can't sit still for five minutes, they're constantly running around futzing with stuff. It's like living with enormous hummingbirds in the kitchen. I am striving to deny this genetic predisposition and actually relax instead of feeling the need to jump from one project or another. So I'm looking forward to this trip for its possibility of doing nothing.

We're both hoping to lie around on a beach or something while we're there, unconsciously re-enacting a Corona commercial while slowly acquiring sunstroke. Our fear is that somebody in the family will utter the phrase "parasailing" or "walking tour" or "mini golf." Maybe later in the week I'll feel like, I dunno, snorkeling or something. But for now I just want to do nothing for a little while. When I get home then, theoretically, I'll be raring to go on the many projects I have been putting off, not to mention finishing the new web site at my job with the exceptional flourishes that have come to be my professional signature.