Friday, August 22, 2003 at 10:57:10 (EDT)

Who needs food? I want a beer picnic
It's a bit of a hike for non-Queens residents, but a trip to the Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden is highly recommended by your webmaster. A few blocks from the Astoria Blvd stop on the N train, this place has the biggest beer garden I've ever seen (okay, I've seen like 3 in my whole life, and none in Germany). The back garden is immense, so much so that I felt sorry for the people sitting on the far side, as they had much further to walk to get to the bar itself. The beer comes in those glass mugs that are just a little bigger than is comfortable to hold, throwing off normal drinking equilibrium ever-so-slightly. This joint is of Czech origin (their website proudly proclaims "Vaclav Havel visits the Bohemian Hall," like he stops by all the time), so there was much pilsner (which S points out is named for a town in Plzen, Czechoslovakia), including Staropramen, which pretty much has the best logo of any beer I know.

We were there to celebrate José's release from the NYU Medical Center, whose doctors tell him that his epilepsy may be a thing of the past. Does this have anything to do with how much beer he consumes?

Tonight, I'll be at what may be one of the final Mighty Robot shows. I'm finally gonna see Enon, plus Jah Division, who will perform dub versions of Joy Division songs. Meanwhile, Luna is playing Southpaw.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Thursday, August 21, 2003 at 10:59:45 (EDT)

Spike It
Yesterday, Max Renn found this cat toy under the futon. He put his paw on it and rolled it over, watching the bell inside move around. He was oddly methodical about it. Eventually this became activity resembling normal cat behavior, batting the ball around, jumping on it, etc. Previously, neither cat had shown interest in this sort of stuff, so it looks like their brains are developing normally. Dr. Benway didn't seem to understand the allure of the ball, but he thinks shoelaces are fascinating.

 
 
 

 

Oh, and I dunno if it's sold out yet, but my pal Tracy is producing a show at the Fringe Festival, titled Waiter, Waiter. I caught it last weekend, it's not a long play but you will be exhausted by the time the lights come up. If you've ever worked in the food service industry and still harbor some grudges from the experience, this play will be quite cathartic. As a former dishwasher, I was a little disappointed that my kind was not represented, but the play is more about the wait staff and the absolute insanity that ensues from waiting on people who probably despise you, and who may or may not tip. It's really funny, but there is a scary streak of anger to it as well. I don't think I have to wonder if author David Simpatico ever worked in the industry.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 14:06:49 (EDT)

His name was Jimmy, he was a showgirl . . .
So the party is set for Saturday. All are welcome, but guests bearing food and beverage will be placed on folding chairs and held aloft while we dance the Hora. The cats will be up in my room, yet another genius move on my part to lure women into my boudoir. I'm gonna try to clean 'em up as much as possible but they're still receiving various medications so they may be covered with various ointments. I too may be laden with various ointments, but that's another matter entirely.

Meanwhile, I got this from 601am.com: The Gender Genie Algorithm. This device purports to determine the gender of an author by analyzing words in a block of text. Pretty much everything I put into it comes up saying I am female. Eh, why fight it? I just finished Jonathan Ames' novel, The Extra Man, whose main character is a nicely-dressed, well-read transvestite and 'tranny-chaser'. I think gender definitions are in dire need of reexamination. I'm pretty sure I'm not a woman, but I don't understand how the calculator determines these things exactly. I'd read the original NY Times article, but I'd have to pay for it, and lord knows I'm not doing that. To thine own self be true!

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 02:23:19 (EDT)

Sexy MF
I just found this shot of Mr. Bones. He might eat a little too much, he might constantly try to escape, he might repeatedly try to eat baby pigeons, but how can you stay mad at a face like this?



Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 19:58:07 (EDT)


Third prize is, you're fired
Sorry no pearls of wisdom today, I spent all day waiting for the tech guys to do work that amounted to a half-hour of actual work. I guess I have to admire their ability to drag their job out. But my computer is fixed! Now I get to do my job! Oh. Right. Damn.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Monday, August 18, 2003 at 18:35:07 (EDT)

I am the light of the world
Forget tales of kittens and blackouts, it's furniture time! I picked up a reading lamp across the street at Eddie's Junk Antique Store. He didn't really know what it was, and even though I've been examining it now that it's in my room, I'm still not sure either. Take a look to see the interesting aspects of this device.

Posted By Jimmy Legs
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Monday, August 18, 2003 at 17:11:09 (EDT)

We've got a bigger problem now
The kittens are enlarging at a disturbing rate, but I guess that's what they're supposed to do. They have started play-fighting with each other, as well as inanimate objects (a sheet, the edge of a cardboard box). Max Renn was observed purring the other day as well. Although both kittens are getting bigger, Max is noticeably larger than his brother. However, Dr. Benway's legs seem to be growing faster than any other part of him, so he is taller (when he can get up on all fours, still a little uncoordinated).

We are planning another party for this Saturday, a sort of Open House to view the kittens. I'll post further details as they coalesce. In the meantime, hit the photo for more interminable cat pictures.

 

 



Posted By Jimmy Legs

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Monday, August 18, 2003 at 14:42:54 (EDT)

Can't happen here?
So apparently Northeast Ohio is to blame for the black out. Always good to see my hometown implicated in the worst power outage in North American history. Go Tribe!

I'd like to set up my apartment as a safe house in the event of sweeping disasters such as the one we suffered Thursday and Friday. So if the power should suddenly go out again and your cell phone doesn't work, I encourage everybody to just come over my house and hang out. Normally I'd say everybody should go to the Alibi, but when I went there on Thursday, they kicked us out at 8 PM, apparently fearing looters or Mormons. But on Friday Jami showed up at our door and we endured the heat with brie and champagne. I plan to maintain a stash of fine wines and foie gras in case this happens again.

"But Mr. Legs, how could this happen again?" you protest. "A disaster of this size will surely be controlled in the future." Au contraire. I'd believe it but I also never thought we'd have another flood like we had 2 weeks ago, but last night the rain caused another deluge, only hours after we had put all our musical equipment back in the basement. We were a little better prepared this time, but the swimming pool is back for the time being (note to self: consider purchasing kiddie pool to place under faulty drain pipe that explodes when there is even the teensiest bit too much rainfall).

So I'm ready to believe anything can happen at this point. Pinky could have more kittens, my computer could crash again (btw, it's still not fixed), I could again get unceremoniously dumped, Dave Letterman could again host the Oscars. Lightning can indeed strike twice.

Posted By Jimmy Legs

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