You know how sometimes when you drink you end up doing things you later regret? Well, this happened to me the other night. I awoke on Sunday with a pounding head and the sobering realization that at 3:30 the night before I was singing "Captain Jack" because Alex knew how to play it on the piano. Sure it could be construed as an amusing party-type moment, but the more I thought about it, the worse it seemed. Now I keep thinking, "What if the neighbors were trying to sleep? What if their bed is right on the other side of the piano-room wall? Oh god I was singing Billy Joel. I mean, please. Billy Joel."
Luckily, my body shut itself down soon after. My only solace is that I think the neighbors know I live in the lower part of the house, and will blame it on Buzz. They think he's trouble anyway.
I just realized I'm hitting the stride of the longest holiday drought for the whole year. After a run of holidays that gives me a day off at least once a month for 6 months, the next holiday I get is Memorial Day. That's like 2 months away! And it's at the END of the month too! Of course, some people don't get all these days off (even I feel politically unsure of Columbus Day, but I'll take the day off, sure). These are my holidays:
UNITED STATES
2007 Holidays
Date
|
Holiday
|
| 01/01/2007 |
New Year's Day |
| 01/15/2007 |
Martin Luther King's Birthday |
| 02/19/2007 |
Presidents Day |
| 05/28/2007 |
Memorial Day |
| 07/04/2007 |
Independence Day |
| 09/03/2007 |
Labor Day |
| 10/08/2007 |
Columbus Day |
| 11/12/2007 |
Veterans Day |
| 11/22/2007 |
Thanksgiving Day |
| 12/25/2007 |
Christmas Day |
The way I see it, this dearth of holidays reminds me that we have several months for which we should be nominating for new holidays. Here's my suggestions for the months I'm not currently getting long weekends:
- March 21: Jimmy Legs Memorial Day. To commemorate those few days last March when the nation held its breath and I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until they ran me through every expensive piece of machinery in the place (including the machine that goes "Pinnng!")
- April 14: Birthday/Unbirthday Day. It's a real birthday for Buzz, Abby, and Janice, and probably some other people. So let's all pretend it's our birthday too (this will also mean 50 Cent will always be able to find work in the future).
- June 15: June Appreciation Day. I always looked forward to June, but it seems to go by too quickly. Before I know it, it's the 4th of July, it's hot and humid, and I have the sneaking suspicion I've just wasted a whole month. This won't stop that, but at least I won't waste this day redesigning the background image for a PowerPoint presentation.
- August 7: Throw Bottles in Your Neighbor's Yard Day. This holiday, celebrated weekly by my neighbors, gets the solemn, national attention it deserves.
I was trying to come up with a follow-up post for the animal longevity post to list the relative intelligence of pets, which is my other major issue. You sit there and watch your cat running around and you wonder 
"Why is he doing that? Does he understand he can't fit under that? Is he a moron?" But alas, there is no helpful list on the web for this that I was able to fine. I have read that cats basically have the intelligence of a 2-year old human. Pigs supposedly are even smarter, at the level of a 3-year old. And of course, cockatiels are on par with 75-year old Mensa members.
I went to the pet store yesterday and saw a cockatiel playing with this rope/wood-block/fuzzy thing, so I thought the birds would like it. I've read that, whatever their intelligence, cockatiels are smart enough to get bored, like teenagers. And what teenager wouldn't be enchanted by a ropy, woody, fuzzy toy? 
When I showed it to Cheeks, he recoiled in horror, hissing at it like it was a ferret dipped in poison. Giggles flew up onto his perch in the window and threatened to bite if I came near him with it (I did not name these birds). I guess they weren't bored, for those moments. But my dream of getting them to ride a tiny tricycle is probably over.
Not that anybody cares, but here's a list of how long some animals are supposed to live. One thinks of such things from time to time, thoughts like "If this cat dies, maybe then I can get another, better one." Now that I see the average life span for a cat is 25 years, I guess I must learn to table these thoughts for a while. Also, since this is my first time living with exotic birds, I am fascinated by the fact that they can live for much longer than seem necessary. In cockatiel years, I should already be dead, but if I was a bird I bet I would have packed a lotta living into those years. But since I have another 30-40 years to fool around with, I feel no need to rush. 
I excerpted the full list to just some animals that caught my eye. I think it's amazing that a Great Horned Owl can live to be 68. Of course, hamsters and gerbils again prove their merit as children's pets since they only live 4 or 5 years. But any of the larger birds seem to live forever. Even the lobster rates pretty high on the list. Poor little fella, I can picture it living 48 years only to have its last two years snuffed out when it gets thrown in a pot of boiling water.
African Grey Parrot 50
Cat 25
Chinchilla 20
Cockatiel 32
Conure 25
Dog 22
Domestic Pigeon 26
Gerbil 5
Golden Hamster 4
Great Horned Owl 68
Guinea Pig 8
House Mouse 4
Human 70-80
Lobster 15 (they can live into their 50's!)
Macaw 50
Parrot 80
Pigeon 11
Pionus Parrot 15
Rabbit 9
Sulphur Crested Cockatoo 40
Superb Parrot 36
