Office – Got the Jimmy Legs

Office

Feel the filth inside me rise

July 25, 2007 – 1:39 pm

I've been hobnobbing with the Jet Set in the penthouse suites of significant buildings downtown. Well, one suite in one hotel. I did a 2-day long training for my "career development." I don't know if it'll really help my job but it was a welcome respite from the stupid stuff I have to do every day in the office. However, missing Monday and Tuesday uptown means missing my favorite dishes at the Indian food cart. Have I ever told you guys about that?

Reluctant as I was to move to this uptown office, I must admit that lunch options for a vegetarian are pretty good. There's a middle eastern cart right outside my office that makes some of the best falafel I've ever had, and there's restaurants like Burritoville, which although wildly overpriced, at least set a precedent for vegan food in the area. There are also two Indian food carts. Yes, two. I don't know if they are related, but they set up on the same block right down from each other. I notice one gets much more business than the other, so I go to the one with no line.

Both usually offer the same menu (which makes me think they are related): some main dish and a side dish over rice with some salad and roti or chapati. The entrees are things like Chana Masala and Daal, with Aloo Saag as a side dish. And most of the time it kicks ass. They serve the same rotating menu every week and Monday and Tuesday have the best stuff (the aforementioned Masala and Daal). Anyway it's four bucks for this big platter.

Anyway, the training was fun, but now it's back to the grind. But even that's not so bad, provided people don't hassle me too much over the next couple of days. Meanwhile, the kittens continue to grow. All of them have been eating solid food for a while now, and are getting really big. This has also brought up the newest issue, getting them to use the damn litterbox.

I kept putting them into the litterbox but they just haven't been getting it. Lucy doesn't like the corncob litter I'm using (chosen because it's nontoxic and kittens tend to eat everything) so she's not exactly modeling the behavior. Then we noticed the kittens were pooping under the bed. Great. But at least this gave us some 'samples' to use as a guide. I put some in the box and lo and behold, just before we left for work this morning, one of the ginger cats was going to town in the litterbox! A couple of the other kittens witnessed the incident, so hopefully the gears are turning and they'll all get the message. The only problem now is that Lucy, while she won't use it herself, insists on scratching around in the litterbox, tossing litter across the room. This morning she flipped over the whole box. I'm gonna have to nail it to the floor.

Stay tuned for progress photos. One of the kittens is way huger than the others, it's weird!

By Jimmy Legs | Also posted in Cats, Food, Job, kittens | Comments Off on Feel the filth inside me rise

Don't come around here no more

July 11, 2007 – 9:23 am

I don't talk about my job much because it's boring. If it's any indication, it's less exciting than both cats and back yard gardens, given how much I post on these latter topics vs. my job. Tomorrow, as per my 'development plan' I must attend a day-long training session in my old office building downtown. The only problem is, I don't know where in the building.

There are any number of floors in this building that belong to my company; the training could be on any one of them, or none at all (some trainings are held in nearby hotel conference rooms). When I confirmed my attendance, I received an email detailing the training. Under 'Location' it read only "3B/C."

What the hell is 3B/C? Somebody tell me, is this some standard nomenclature I don't know about? The building has some 60 floors, and who-knows how many rooms on each. So I emailed them back to clarify.

hi,
I will be in your class on Thursday, but i'm not sure where exactly it will be located (i work in the midtown office). can you let me know the floor and room number?

thanks,
jimmy


I thought this was pretty straightforward, just tell me the floor and room and I'll be there. The response:

We have a midtown office? I did not know that. We are at [123 Office Street], E Train to Chambers/WTC. Use the entrance marked [123], go up the escalator. Do you know if we have to clear you through security?


Um, okay. I now know the building, but they've only got me up to the security desk. I asked simply for floor and room number, the info they've given me only narrows it down to a city block. But, they don't know I used to work there so I'm familiar with its location and already have an ID card. So I reply,

hi,
yes there's a small office in midtown for [our department]. i used to work in the tower so i have access, but what floor and room number will the training be in?

thanks,

Again I try to simply specify I need to know what floor and what room this training will be in. I feel like a dork for having to ask the exact same question again, but I know what I need to know, I'm just at a loss as to why they aren't giving me a straight answer.

Sounds great thanks for clarifying. The training will be held in 3B/C. We look forward to your attendance.

Huh? Wait, did they just give me this 3B/C shit again? Oh no she didn't! I still don't know what that means, despite several emails back and forth. I send a final, pathetic message:

i'm sorry, i don't know what 3b/c means. is it the 3rd floor? i guess there will be signs to direct me when i arrive.


Frankly, I'm hoping there aren't signs. I don't want to go to this training anyway. And if I remember correctly, the 3rd floor is the cafeteria, and there are no conference rooms there. But hey, I tried. We'll see, maybe there will be a marching band waiting in the lobby to take me up to the magical 3B/C room.

Oh, did I mention this is a training in marketing communication. Can't wait!

UPDATE: Just received this mass email to all participants:

Good Day-

Tomorrow's session begins promptly at 9am on the 3rd floor (cafeteria floor) in Rooms B and C. Continental Breakfast will be available at 8:30am. We look forward to your participation. Thank you and have a great day.

Whaddya know, there ARE conference rooms on the cafeteria floor. So am I a moron for not figuring this out? Still shouldn't have taken them so long to clear it up. Stupid babies need the most attention!

That continental breakfast still isn't enough to get me in there before 9.

By Jimmy Legs | Also posted in Bad Stuff | Comments Off on Don't come around here no more

In the morning, laughing happy fish heads

May 1, 2007 – 12:09 pm


I don't know what's going on around here, but nearly every day in this office, somebody apparently is having fish for lunch and it's driving me crazy. I don't even think it's somebody in my office, as the smell is so pervasive it could be coming from anywhere. It's even in the elevator. It'll take like another few hours before things get back to normal. I have nothing against pescetarians, but at least tofu is not nearly as pungent. Frankly, I thought this would have ended after Easter, but perhaps I made a leap in logic that the reality cannot sustain.

By Jimmy Legs | Also posted in Food | Comments Off on In the morning, laughing happy fish heads

Let's call the whole thing off

March 13, 2007 – 9:12 am

I just realized I'm hitting the stride of the longest holiday drought for the whole year. After a run of holidays that gives me a day off at least once a month for 6 months, the next holiday I get is Memorial Day. That's like 2 months away! And it's at the END of the month too! Of course, some people don't get all these days off (even I feel politically unsure of Columbus Day, but I'll take the day off, sure). These are my holidays:


UNITED STATES

2007 Holidays


Date

Holiday
01/01/2007 New Year's Day
01/15/2007 Martin Luther King's Birthday
02/19/2007 Presidents Day
05/28/2007 Memorial Day
07/04/2007 Independence Day
09/03/2007 Labor Day
10/08/2007 Columbus Day
11/12/2007 Veterans Day
11/22/2007 Thanksgiving Day
12/25/2007 Christmas Day

The way I see it, this dearth of holidays reminds me that we have several months for which we should be nominating for new holidays. Here's my suggestions for the months I'm not currently getting long weekends:

  • March 21: Jimmy Legs Memorial Day. To commemorate those few days last March when the nation held its breath and I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until they ran me through every expensive piece of machinery in the place (including the machine that goes "Pinnng!")
  • April 14: Birthday/Unbirthday Day. It's a real birthday for Buzz, Abby, and Janice, and probably some other people. So let's all pretend it's our birthday too (this will also mean 50 Cent will always be able to find work in the future).
  • June 15: June Appreciation Day. I always looked forward to June, but it seems to go by too quickly. Before I know it, it's the 4th of July, it's hot and humid, and I have the sneaking suspicion I've just wasted a whole month. This won't stop that, but at least I won't waste this day redesigning the background image for a PowerPoint presentation.
  • August 7: Throw Bottles in Your Neighbor's Yard Day. This holiday, celebrated weekly by my neighbors, gets the solemn, national attention it deserves.
By Jimmy Legs | Also posted in Funny to Me, Holidays | Comments Off on Let's call the whole thing off

They've got nothing else to think of

February 14, 2007 – 2:01 pm

My boss said I could leave early today because of the weather (which I think is actually her guilty conscience cuz she almost never comes into the office at all). But I can't because I'm taking a training that runs from 3-6PM. So that sucks. The likelihood of getting a real snow day is pretty slim at this point in my life. It's times like these I feel should rationalize my returning to telecommuting all the time ("I could work through any blizzard! And I will, too! Sure!") But I'm just about to pass the one-year mark as a real employee, so with my annual pay increase looming I guess I won't rock the boat right now. Plus I'm still not convinced I'm indispensable around here yet.

Anyway, this training is a breeze: it's a web-based teleconference so I can sit here and do the crossword while I'm learning a new content management system for the web site. Which of course I could do from home as well … damn. Now it's too late to get home before the training starts.

By Jimmy Legs | Also posted in Job | Comments Off on They've got nothing else to think of